boundaries

I have a favorite article I read once in a Parenting magazine.  Giving parents advice...one phrase in particular stuck out...it went something like this "Mommy...I can't actually eat the entire bag of cookies..just wanted to see if you would let me."  As parents we juggle with boundaries.  When to pick and choose our battles.  When to say no and be consistent.  Sometimes Aidan can eat a late night snack.  Sometimes we won't let him.  I have to work on that.  Sometimes he is all up in our bed at night...sometimes we say no and put him in his bed.  It is so hard to know when to say no, when to teach a lesson, when to make a big deal out of something and when to just be loving and understanding.  Mason doesn't believe in boundaries.  He will know something is wrong, look at me and do it anyway.  Then do it again.  And again.  No fear.  I want to find a happy medium.  I want to let them get away with things...but not all the time.  Just need someone to tell me what things I should let go and what things I should make a big deal out of. 

So who gives parents boundaries?  I strongly believe God gives me signs...or boundaries....it's God's way of guiding me through this crazy game.  The other day I had Aidan and Mason in the tub.  I washed them both and was letting them play.  I explained to Aidan that I was going to jump in the shower.  The shower is right next to the tub..a small small small wall dividing the tub and shower.  I told Aidan to watch Mason and make sure he doesn't go under the water.  So throughout my 3 minute shower I asked how Mason was doing.  He will be 2 in July so it's not like he is that small.  Aidan is 4.  Aidan kept telling me Mason was fine..and I heard Mason blabbing away.  I turned off the shower and heard a splash.  Aidan was laughing so I thought they were just playing.  Well I jumped out to see what the splash was anyway.  Mason was under the water thrashing trying to sit up and he couldn't.  Aidan thought Mason was playing..I ran scoopped him up.  Mason was fine...just startled.  But I FREAKED the F out.  I of course was mad at myself for taking my eye of Mason.  I explained to Aidan that baby couldn't breathe and he needed to help him.  That was God..telling me where my boundaries were.  It was like that huge scare made me realize I can't ever take my eye off him.  I was testing my boundaries but was quickly reminded where the line was that I had crossed.  That night I went in Mason's room.  He was falling asleep.  Picked him up and rocked him for about 20 minutes.  It was a scary night. 

Another sign I was over stepping boundaries.  Joe and I had let Aidan go out with his brother who is 10 in front of our house to play basketball.  We don't usually let him go outside by himself.  EVER.  So I had a weird feeling about it..but Aidan insisted and I of course checked on him often.  Well....about a week later there was a scare in the town about 15 minutes from us where this guy try to grab a 4th grader and drag them in their car.  Luckily the kid got away.  But I believe that was my "sign".  After hearing that, I of course told myself I would NOT let Aidan out with anyone but adults.  I may be crazy...but I think those are signs that warn me I was letting my kid's go over their boundaries.  Mommy boundaries.  Ok..I think I said boundaries one too many times.  No more promise. 

Video...here is one of Aidan playing the drums.  He goes to lessons now and LOVES it.  In the video we had a Mommy made drum set.  Don't laugh.  Ok....also don't laugh at the mess in my living room.  Obvioulsy I let my kids go crazy with their toys.  I picked and did NOT choose that battle.